Love Her More by Loving Less

It might sound like a contradiction to those outside of Christ. It may sound unloving and weird to those who may not understand, but this is one of the most important things to understand and apply to your marriage. It is this phrase in a poem by John Piper,

"A double rule of love that shocks;

A doctrine in a paradox:

If you aim your wife to bless,

Then love her more and love her less."

What does he mean by this? Love your wife less in order to bless her? Well he goes on to explain in the end,

"Yes, love her, love her more than life;

O, love the woman called your wife.

Go love her as your earthly best.

Beyond this venture not. But, lest

Your love become's a fool's facade,

Be sure to love her less than God"

God, He is to be our first love. All love and joy flow from Him. We cannot even love properly without receiving His love first. We cannot know what true love is without first loving, and knowing Him. If we love our wife more than God, then we put her in a position she cannot fulfill. Your wife is not God, she is not perfect, she will make mistakes, she will sin, and so making her your god by loving her more than God is foolish and even damaging towards your relationship. It is damaging to your wife, because in making her your god she will feel as if she needs to be perfect. When she fails your ridiculously high expectations of being your god, then you will be shattered and she will be frustrated, angry and sad. Loving God more than your wife or husband is so important. It makes both of you rooted and grounded in God's love, Therefore, when one fails the other there is unconditional love that comes from God. There are no shattered hearts, but hearts that forgive one another realizing that they are both sinners saved by grace. There is a dedicated, devoted love that is not based on human love, but in the love of God. Your love for your wife becomes unbreakable, because the love of God fills you. His love makes your love for your wife steadfast. The only way to love properly is to love God more. So,

"The greatest gift you give your wife

Is loving God above her life.

And thus I bid you now to bless:

Go love her more by loving less."

Love your wife more than anything on earth. Sacrifice for her, protect her soul and body, give your time and energy to her, serve her with everything you have in you, love her as Christ loves His people, and yet love her less than God. For you can only love like that when you love God more. Do you struggle with this idea? If so, why? We would love to hear from you. Contact us: lovebreaksthedistance@hotmail.com

#Marriage